Dating advice for women

Despite the recent emergence of online Muslim matrimonials and the growing interest in them, they still remain a place inherent with abundant dangers.

We at The PMMS have made our best efforts to make our site as secure as possible and unattractive to the insincere. Our main focus is on the safety of all the sisters who use our facility and to this end we have produced this safety guide which we advise all to read and keep in mind at all times.



We have carried out extensive research of existing online Muslim matrimonial websites and our findings have shown that a large percentage of sisters have been subjected to threats, intimidation, bad/suggestive language, verbal abuse and other un-Islamic behaviour.

Experts advice about dating and relationships - www.idateadvice.com

Our intention is to provide a safe environment for Muslims to find a spouse.

A definition of what we view as inappropriate behaviour is:

Sexual Talk

No practicing Muslim brother will engage in any talk of a sexual nature with a sister who is not his wife. This is not allowed in Islam and any brother who tries to lead a sister down this path should be avoided for your own safety. The main advocates of this type of behaviour have become quite skilled in their approach and many will at first display pious tendencies to lull the sister into thinking that he is a good brother, but this is just an illusion and his sinister intentions will quickly become obvious. He may try and get the sister to reveal intimate details about herself or to tell him her sexual fantasies etc. In virtually all cases, these Muslims are insincere with regard to their religion and their intentions towards a sister.

Inappropriate Meetings

Please remember that in Islam it is not permissible for two people who are non-mahram to meet alone in a secluded place. If a brother and a sister feel they have reached a stage where they should meet then it should always take place in the company of others with the knowledge and consent of the Wali. We have heard many stories of sisters meeting with brothers from matrimonial sites and were then shocked to discover that the brother who turned up was nothing like the person they had been speaking to for months online. In this type of scenario a sister is likely to encounter inappropriate suggestions and attempts at physical molestation.

It is vitally important, for their own safety, that meetings should take place with a third party (preferably the Wali). If a brother insists on meeting a sister alone then he most likely has bad intentions and should be reported to us immediately. We would encourage sisters to involve their Wali/Wakeel as soon as possible on finding a potential match and to also request contact details for those who can vouch for the brother's integrity.



Harassment

This is something that occurs on all matrimonial websites and is the most difficult to deal with. Unfortunately, there are some individuals who do not react well to rejection and take it quite personally. The most extreme of these may seek to influence a sister by bombarding her with messages and the most malicious will send messages of abuse and threats. We have a zero tolerance attitude regarding harassment and all guilty members will have their membership revoked.

Let's be Friends

What would seem like another less obvious problem associated with Muslim matrimonial sites are brothers seeking friendship rather than marriage. It seems there are a minority of Muslim men who, possibly due to boredom or a persuasion to idleness and frivolity, seek to make friends with sisters. These individuals are not sincerely seeking marriage - primarily because they are already married! They are not serious and send messages to sisters offering best wishes and compliments. These messages are, for the most part, harmless but this activity will not be tolerated.